Rules Of Being Around Walter
by Blue Obsidian Butterfly
Summary: A set of rules set by the Fringe team for people new to Walter. Spoiler warning.
1. chapter 1

Rules For Being Around Walter

As set by the Fringe team (mainly Peter)

1. Don't encourage him!

He doesn't need any more ideas.

2. Do not leave any kind of drug lying around the lab,

unless you want to be Walter's next experiment.

3. Whatever you do, make sure Walter has supervision.

We don't need any rampaging monsters, mutated cows or drug experiments.

4. No matter how childish Walter seems, he is still a genius.

Don't make him prove it, for everyone's sake.

5. When Walter's hungry, feed him!

That way he will be more productive. He can't babble on with food in his mouth.

6. Let Walter ride back with the body.

It will save you a lot of trouble.

7. Always keep Walter occupied.

It's better that way.

8. Don't bring up Peter and Olivia when Walter is in the room.

That is self explanatory.

9. Don't give Walter the means to take over the world.

It will make everyone's lives a whole lot easier.

10. Don't let Walter cross any more universes.

No-one needs another inter-universal war.

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fringe. This is for my own entertainment.**

**Author's Notes: I am new to Fanfiction so reviews are really appreciated :) **

**I will write the next chapter soon.**


	2. chapter 2

11. Do not leave Walter with an unexperienced person.

They may end up as another one of Walter's experiments

12. Do not leave Walter with a genua pig, human or cow.

It won't end well.

13. Always ask before you take anything from the lab.

Walter has probably done something to it.

14. If Walter asks you to smell something, don't.

Just walk away.

15. Just because it looks like food, doesn't mean it is.

Don't eat it, just don't.

16. Don't eat hamburgers, or any type of beef in front of Gene.

Believe me, you don't want a Walter style 'lecture.'

17. Do not introduce Walter to any other mad scientists.

We don't need an epidemic on our hands.

18. Repeat the word 'bad' as many times as possible when Walter says experiment.

Otherwise you could be in trouble.

19. No matter how many times Walter says the experiment is safe, it's not.

There is no such thing as a Walter safe experiment.

20. When Walter says he needs a taste tester, experiments are involved.

Don't do it.

Break these rules and you will have the Fringe team to deal with, not to mention Walter taking over the world. So I suggest you don't.

Please review :-) It's my first story.


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Notes: This story is now being co written with the wonderful SunnyWinterClouds. This chapter is written by me and the next will be by SunnyWinterClouds. :)**

21. Always have red vines handy.

You may need to keep Walter quiet at times (or most of the time.)

22. Do not let Walter babysit.

You do not want him filling a child's head with his 'ideas.'

23. Never let Walter near any kind of explosive.

If you think his experiments are bad, imagine him with a powerful explosive.

24. The words 'Walter' and 'safe experiment' do not belong in the same sentence.

25. Do not leave Walter and Alternate Walter alone.

There is no way that could end well.

26. Walter will never get Astrid's name right so don't bother correcting him.

27. Do not let Walter tell stories, especially after taking elicit substances (and don't tell Olivia.)

She does not want anything to do with those substances.

28. Do not mention human regeneration.

There is a reason none of us do.

29. Just because Walter says the genetically altered creature is harmless doesn't mean it is.

30. Do not mess with any of Walter's equipment.

It will not end well at all.


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors Notes: This chapter was written by SunnyWinterClouds. We would both appreciate any feedback (my last story only got 1 review.) :)**

31. Don't let Walter feed Gene cacao beans.  
>She gets sick and there's no chocolate milk.<p>

32. Do not bring up the topic of Fauxlivia,  
>unless you would like to hear the word 'vagenda' again.<p>

33. Do not put the sugar cubes in your coffee.  
>There's a 50-50 chance that they're LSD.<p>

34. He will never get the strawberry smoothie recipe exactly right.  
>Accept it and move on.<p>

35. If he bakes and experiments at the same time, do not let him mix up the spoons.  
>The results could be disastrous.<p>

36. When he reminisces about his past, let him go on.  
>It makes him feel better.<p>

37. Don't make any remark that is even remotely or possibly sexual.  
>It won't be pretty.<p>

38. Try not to let him eat while examining a corps.  
>No explanation necessary.<p>

39. Always get him his damn seismographs.  
>And don't make him say please.<p>

40. Don't always take him seriously when he suspects that the Fringe event is a vortex caused by his inter dimensional travel twenty five years ago.  
>It's usually not.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N Sorry for the huge delay in posting this but I was waiting for SunnyWinterClouds but she hasn't been replying to my messages. She wrote the first 7 and I wrote the rest.**

41. Do not try to force Walter to work with Peter.  
>He might accidentally-on purpose expose him to deadly toxins.<p>

42. If he tries to lobotomize himself, punish him by not letting him watch Spongebob.  
>He'll quickly get the message.<p>

43. If he asks you to milk Gene, do it.  
>DO IT!<p>

44. Don't tell him Peter's eyes look like his.  
>He might cry.<p>

45. Don't mention Nina Sharp when Walter is holding a sharp object,  
>unless, of course, you want to be impaled on it.<p>

46. Don't make him leave the lab.  
>He might have an episode of Mysophobia.<p>

47. Never, never, NEVER ask about the most sexually arousing drugs.  
>Not only will he tell you, he will share his personal experiences.<p>

48. Do not say 'Peter' and 'your son' in the same sentence, especially if you want him to work with you.

49. Walter doesn't remember anything he used to so don't bother asking.

After all this isn't the same timeline.

50. Keep an eye on inexperienced people in the lab.

They tend to end up as test subjects.

**A/N Thank-you to the people who have reviewed. I have been inspired to reply to any reviews from this point foreword :)**

**IMPORTANT: I was going to write what happens when the rules are broken but I am not sure. If people want me to I will if not this will be finished. Please let me know if I should :)**


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